"If This Goes Well, I’ll Use It At Goldman Sachs Next Year" – Obama Mocks Everyone At His Final "Nerd Prom"
By Tyler Durden
In his final address to the White House correspondents dinner also known as “nerd prom”, Obama embraced his last chance at a snarky, hyperbolic, comic monologue and used the stage to unleash a series of one-liners at 2016 presidential candidates in both parties, the media and his own career as president.
“It is an honor to be here at my last, and perhaps the last, White House Correspondents’ dinner,” he said as he took the podium. “You all look great. The end of the Republic has never looked better. Next year at this time someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be,” Obama said.
At the end, Obama literally dropped the mic at the event where politicians, journalists, media moguls, Capitol Hill power brokers, Hollywood stars and even dogs (those belonging to Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher) gathered.
Obama didn’t spare his former secretary of State Hillary Clinton, quipping, “If this material goes well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans.”
He also joked her lack of popularity with young voters: “I’ve said I admire Hillary’s toughness, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience. You’ve gotta admit it though: Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative who just signed up for Facebook,” Obama said. “‘Dear America, did you get my poke? Is it appearing on your wall? I’m not sure I’m using this right. Love, Aunt Hillary.'”
Obama then took on 74 year old Bernie Sanders from Vermont, describing him as “the bright new face of the Democratic party.” “Bernie, you look like a million bucks. Or, to put in terms you will understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each,” the outgoing jokester said, referring to a zillion small contributions to Mr Sanders’ campaign.
“I am hurt though, Bernie, that you have distanced yourself from me. That’s not something that you do to your comrade.”
“8 years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics. In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific.” —@POTUS #WHCD
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) May 1, 2016
But much of Obama’s monologue focused on the Republicans, saying “we’re praying Cleveland makes it through July,” and noted the absence of GOP front-runner Donald Trump. “You know I’m gonna talk about Trump!” Obama told the crowd.
“Although I’m a little hurt that he is not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time,” Obama said referring to the same event in 2011, during which Trump was present. “And it is surprising. You got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras and he says ‘no.’ Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald. What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a ‘Trump Steak’, tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What is he doing?” Obama wisecracked.
“The Republican establishment is incredulous that he’s their most …read more
