"Operation Cankles" – Russian Intervention Exposed
By Tyler Durden
Did the Russians really rig the 2016 US election? The Daily Telegraph's Tim Blair exposes 'the truth' – You bet they did!
Secret documents recently discovered in a bin behind a Kremlin-district 24-hour cabbage and tobacco store reveal for the first time the devious extent of Russian interference. These plans were decades in the making.
Read on, as never-before-seen communiques between Russian agents Sergei Potrov and Dimitri Bienko outline the wicked plot – beginning in 1947, on the day of Hillary Clinton’s birth:
Dearest Dimitri
I am pleased to report that phase one of Operation Cankles is total success! Soviet implantation of stupid American woman resulted in birth today of hefty girl-child destined to be unelectable candidate 70 years from now.
Child is basically just ankles and head, similar to sturdy and hard-working female stock from adored Ilmensky Mountains. In decadent America, nobody will ever vote for such a noble being.
Yours in Soviet solidarity,
Sergei
Back in Moscow, Bienko receives the news from his undercover US-based operative with communist glee:
Dearest Sergei,
You have done very well, comrade! Especially with the implantation. I trust the child has your eyebrow.
We have already begun looking at similar strategies in other western nations. When you are next on leave, ask me to show you plans for Operation Julia. Australia is next to face unforgiving Soviet wrath!
Yours,
Dimitri
As the years go by, our pair of dedicated spies continue to monitor Hillary’s progress and other events:
Dearest Dimitri,
Greetings again from Americas. Heh heh heh! Apologies for chuckles, but am watching hilarious documentary called Honeymooners. Is about domestic violence. Very good.
Am needing laugh because hips in pain from imitating the Elvis Presley. Will send you LP of the Presley once Russia has record players.
Hillary now at school and shunned by corrupt classmates in thrall of military-industrial capitalism. All proceeding exactly according to strategic project timeline.
Yours in everlasting revolution,
Sergei
Called away from Operation Cankles for a brief and triumphant mission to Dallas in 1963, Potrov soon returns to his main quest:
Dearest Dimitri,
My ‘holiday’ in Texas was wonderful, thank you for asking. Not so good for Agent Oswald, however. I will miss him. He could make a fine okroshka soup, which is very rare here. The Americans, they prefer their eggs shelled and cooked. And from birds.
How is this for funny? Hillary ran for president of high school and lost to braggart teen with big crazy hair and grabby hands! Is almost like a practice run or something.
Next step is to find university for her. Wellesley is ideal. More communists than all of Soviet Union, except parents drive Cadillacs (sort of like our ZiL, but wheels stay on).
Yours in earnest progress,
Sergei
Occasionally Agent Potrov would vanish from the attention of his Soviet overlords, as this urgent 1967 cable shows:
Comrade Sergei Potrov,
We have not heard from you since you volunteered to investigate the ‘counterculture movement’ in San Francisco three months ago. We assume that your one message, requesting ‘more bread, man’ to buy ‘reefer and …read more
Source: "Operation Cankles" – Russian Intervention Exposed
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