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The Government Actually Has A Zombie Apocalypse Plan – And It’s Just Been Declassified

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By Tyler Durden

Submitted by Jake Anderson via TheAntiMedia.org,

A few years ago, the Center for Disease Control launched a zombie preparedness initiative that drew significant attention. The Department of Defense followed suit and developed an entire training course intended for the Joint Operational Planning and Execution System (JOPES). The complete response plan, called CONPLAN888, was recently declassified, and it’s just as weird and creepy as you might imagine.

The Black Vault posted two documents retrieved from the NSA using the Freedom of Information Act.

The purpose of the plan, according to the United States Strategic Command (USSTRATCOM), was to use a fictitious scenario to prepare for real-world emergencies.

“[The training focused on how to] undertake military operations to preserve ‘non-zombie’ humans from the threats posed by a zombie horde. Because zombies pose a threat to all ‘non-zombie’ human life (hereafter referred to as ‘humans’), USSTRATCOM will be prepared to preserve the sanctity of human life and conduct operations in support of any human population-including traditional adversaries.”

The objective of the three-fold plan includes the neutralization of zombies through “denial, deception, disruption, degradation or destruction,” though with the exception of ‘destruction,’ it is unclear what is meant by these terms with regard to fighting zombies.

Reading at times like the treatment to a campy science fiction script, CONPLAN888 categorizes eight classes of zombies:

  1. Pathogenic zombies — Zombie life forms created after infection by a viral or bacterial contagion.
  2. Radiation zombies — Zombie life forms created after infection from electromagnetic or particle radiation.
  3. Evil Magic Zombies — Zombie life forms created by occult experimentation, or “evil magic.”
  4. Space Zombies — Zombies that come from space or are created by extraterrestrial toxins (this also includes Zombie Satellites that could pose a threat to SATCOM services like DirecTV)
  5. Weaponized Zombies — Zombie life forms engineered through bio-mechanical technology for the purposes of attacking another nation.
  6. Symbiant-Induced Zombies — Zombie life forms created after the “introduction of a symbiant life form into an otherwise healthy host.”
  7. Vegetarian Zombies — Zombie life forms that cause no threat to humans because they only eat plant life (could nevertheless “cause massive de-forestation or elimination of basic food crops essential to humans [rice, corn, soybeans])”
  8. Chicken Zombies (yes, this is real)— Zombies that are essentially old hens that can no longer lay eggs. Farmers euthanize them with carbon monoxide and stack them in piles; however, some of the hens are still alive and crawl out. Though they ultimately die of organ failure, chicken zombies are “simply terrifying to behold” and are likely only to make people become vegetarians in protest of animal cruelty.

CONPLAN888 consists of multiple striking passages, given this is a government agency assessing a fictitious zombie uprising. More practical factors concern environmental issues such as groundwater contaminated with zombie pathogens.

Other, more ominous notes, include references to the government declaring martial law within the United States. There is also a reference to epidemiologic surveillance for the purposes of …read more

Source: The Government Actually Has A Zombie Apocalypse Plan – And It’s Just Been Declassified

    

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Greek Banks Admit To Charging Customers To Exchange Big Bills For Smaller Ones

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By Tyler Durden

Earlier this month, a reader noticed something rather disturbing. Piraeus Bank seemed to have added a new line item in one of its reports and that new line item appeared to suggest that the bank was set to charge customers for exchanging €500 notes for smaller bills.

And it wasn’t just Piraeus. Other Greek banks looked to be doing something similar.

Now it would be bad enough if this was just another example of banks making up for lost margins by passing ZIRP and NIRP onto customers via fees or if this were simply Greek banks being forced to squeeze a little extra out of their retail business because they are still wholly insolvent. But it’s the timing of these new exchange taxes that raises eyebrows.

Remember, reports began to circulate earlier this year that the ECB was considering doing away with the €500 note. That was distressing news for many Greeks who last year, fearing the troika may one day threaten to essentially confiscate their savings (again), eschewed the bank in favor of the mattress. Obviously, much of that mattress money is denominated in €500 notes – notes which Draghi is now set to phase out.

Upon hearing the news, “many in Greece – especially older people – rushed to deposit the money in their accounts,” eKathimerini wrote last month, adding that “bank officials say depositing the 500-euro notes at a bank is the only way for people to rid themselves of them without losing the money, as it is not possible to exchange them for smaller notes.”

Or at least it wouldn’t be once they’re taken out of circulation, but in the meantime it is possible, and as it turns out, Greek banks are indeed doing precisely what we suspected they were doing: they’re charging to exchange the €500 notes for smaller denominations.

Here’s eKathemirini again:

Banks collect a commission of 1.5 percent on average when changing 500-euro bills for notes of lower denominations, citing the administrative costs of keeping their branches stocked with notes of smaller value.

When exchanging one 500-euro note for smaller bills, the charge is 3-5 euros (depending on the bank), while the maximum charge comes to 200-250 euros regardless of the amount a customer wishes to exchange.

Right. Greek banks need to offset “the administrative costs of keeping their branches stocked with notes of smaller value.” Normally that would translate roughly to this: “we need to offset the administrative costs of being a bank,” but because this is Greece, the banks get to blame the ECB and Brussels:

In response to criticism about the commission they charge, banks counter that the administrative cost of supplying their branches around the country with smaller banknotes is unusually high at present with the capital controls still in place and a 420-euro cap on the weekly amount that …read more

Source: Greek Banks Admit To Charging Customers To Exchange Big Bills For Smaller Ones

    

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Illinois College Will Stop Arresting Students For Passing Out Constitution

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By Tyler Durden

…read more

Source: Illinois College Will Stop Arresting Students For Passing Out Constitution

    

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Fox hits Trump for ‘sexist verbal assaults’ on Kelly

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Fox News assailed Donald Trump for making “sexist verbal assaults” on Megyn Kelly. Trump called her “sick” Friday and called for a boycott of her show.

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Source: Fox hits Trump for ‘sexist verbal assaults’ on Kelly

    

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Jury awards Hulk Hogan $115 million in lawsuit

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The six-person jury in the Hulk Hogan case has reached a verdict Friday in the case against Gawker Media.

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Source: Jury awards Hulk Hogan $115 million in lawsuit

    

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"Only Bad Choices" Left For GOP: Trump, Supreme Court Put Party In Turmoil

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By Tyler Durden

“Man, you guys cannot stop talking about him. He is a dangerous presence and, you know, it’s just like candy by the bushel.”

That’s what Hillary Clinton – who possibly didn’t know her mic was live – told MSNBC last Monday night. The former First Lady was of course talking about Donald Trump, and the media’s interest is a byproduct of the public’s fascination.

But if the media and voters “can’t stop talking about him,” America’s entrenched political aristocracy (on both sides of the aisle) wishes everyone would just shut up. While Democrats fear Trump as a kind of threat to the ideals and values that supposedly underpin American democracy, for the GOP this is an existential threat. Trump’s success has sent the establishment back to the drawing board and if he wins the nomination outright, the party will die.

That’s not to say it won’t be resurrected, but it would be an enormous blow in the short-term.

This is complicated by the fact that Republicans are facing a tough choice with Obama’s Supreme Court nomination. Here’s NBC outlining the GOP’s set of “Sophie’s Choices”:

On Trump:

  • Acquiesce/surrender to Donald Trump, who is on track (though it’s not a slam dunk) to obtain a majority of Republican delegates. The problem here? Almost every poll we’ve seen shows Trump to be the weakest GOP candidate to face Hillary Clinton.
  • Fight Trump to stop him from getting the 1237 delegates he needs. The problem? Trump has talked about “riots” if he’s leading in delegates but is denied the nomination, and we don’t think he’s kidding.

On SCOTUS:

  • Oppose the older and more moderate Garland (even hearings and consideration of his nomination), and hope that Republicans don’t lose the 2016 election, which would result in, say, a President Hillary Clinton nominating younger and more liberal replacement.
  • Relent on Garland, knowing the opposition hurts your vulnerable Senate incumbents up for re-election (Kelly Ayotte, Mark Kirk, Ron Johnson, Rob Portman, Pat Toomey), but welcome the wrath of the GOP base.

Bear in mind, this isn’t a criticism of the GOP. Those are the choices they actually face in the months ahead, and there are no right answers.

Not mentioned are other concerns. For instance, if the Republicans “surrender” to Trump, they risk reputational damage. That’s not a comment on Trump – clearly he’s struck a (loud) chord with large swaths of the electorate – but the simple fact is that most establishment Republicans do not want to be associated with him and it’s not out of some petty jealousy. Well maybe it partly is, but part of it is that the GOP doesn’t believe that in the long-run, what Trump says should represent the party line. Perhaps the party should look at Trump’s spectacular numbers and consider where they went wrong in terms of connecting with voters because as the soon to be “private citizen” …read more

Source: "Only Bad Choices" Left For GOP: Trump, Supreme Court Put Party In Turmoil

    

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Radical Leftists Unleash Anti-Trump Riots Starting On March 19th

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By Michael Snyder

Democracy Spring

Many of the exact same groups that participated in Occupy Wall Street and helped organize protest rallies in Ferguson and Baltimore are now promising to bring us “the largest civil disobedience actions in a generation”.  I recently wrote about the trouble that radical leftists have caused by attempting to disrupt Trump campaign events, but now there is a very organized effort to turn this into a national movement.  On March 19th, thousands of angry protesters will descend on Trump Tower in New York City to denounce Donald Trump’s “fascist policies”, and on April 2nd dozens of leftist organizations will join together to launch “Democracy Spring” in Philadelphia.  From there, large numbers of liberal activists will march to Washington D.C. where they will “risk arrest” during a “peaceful” sit-in at the U.S. Capitol from April 11th to April 18th.  If the radical left is this freaked out about Donald Trump now, how bad will things get if he actually becomes the Republican nominee?

I suppose that it was only a matter of time before the radical left began to specifically target Trump properties.  I hope that Trump has good security, because it will definitely be tested starting tomorrow

Left-wing demonstrators have announced their latest anti-Trump event – a march on Trump Tower in New York City to protest against The Donald’s “fascist policies”.

A Facebook page for the rally outlines the plan, organized by a group called ‘Cosmopolitan Antifascists’, to march on the building at 2pm on Saturday afternoon.

“Donald J. Trump has made headlines in recent months with his divisive rhetoric, hate speech, and extremist plans to “make America great again”. We, in fact, believe this will do the opposite to this nation. Trump’s policy threatens many of us in the Black, Latino, LGBT, Muslim, and other communities,” states the page.

According to the Facebook page for “Cosmopolitan Antifascists”, 5,000 people plan to show up and 15,000 more are “interested” in this event.

Will it turn out to be a completely peaceful protest?

Let’s certainly hope so.

Perhaps even more disturbing is what is going to happen in early April.  Dozens of far left groups have gotten behind a movement that has been officially dubbed “Democracy Spring”.

Obviously, that name was chosen to conjure up memories of the “Arab Spring”, and we all remember how “peaceful” that was.

The official website of Democracy Spring tells us the following about the goals…

This spring, in the heart of the primary season, as the national election begins to take center stage, Americans of all ages, faiths, political perspectives, and walks of life will bring the popular cry for change to Washington in a way that’s impossible to ignore: with nonviolent civil disobedience on a historic scale.

We will demand that Congress listen to the People and take immediate action to save our democracy. And we won’t leave until they do — or until they send thousands of us to jail, along with the unmistakable message that our country needs a new Congress, one that that will end the legalized corruption of our …read more

Source: Radical Leftists Unleash Anti-Trump Riots Starting On March 19th

    

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Fed Sparks "QE Trade" As Stocks, Bonds, Gold Soar

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By Tyler Durden

What happens next?

Well it's been another week… As Goldman said this was the 4th most dovish Fed surprise since 2008

Surprises at FOMC meetings with the “dot plot” in the Summary of Economic Projections have on average been almost twice the size of pre-crisis norms.

Which enabled the 5th weekly S&P rise in a row – just like into the Nov 2015 highs…(before it all collapsed) – Trannies up 5% on the week!!

Perfect close:

  • S&P 2049.46
  • Dow 17,599.42

Trannies are up 9 weeks in a row – and this was the biggest week since the Bullard Bounce in Oct 2014.

Financials are up 5 weeks in a row for the first time since Sept 2014 right before plunging only to be saved by Bullard…

But we just wonder…

Post-Fed, Silver soared but gold was coincidentally marked down the last 2 days to ensure it did not make stocks look terrible and signal policy error…

Most-Shorted stocks were monkey-hammered higher after The Fed – back to unch ish on the week…

Note that the “weakest momo” stocks have soared in this rally…

Crushing market-neutral funds once again… the worst Quarter for Market-Neutral funds since Q3 2011

Treasury yields tumbled post-Fed with a yuuge 17bps plunge in 2Y Yields…(the biggest 2Y yield drop since Bullard Oct 2014)

The USD Index tumbled on the week – driven by The Fed and follow through in Asia – but notably stable again now for the last 24-36 hours..

This is the lowest weekly close in 5 months… and USD is down 3% YoY

The entire week for commodities pivoted around The Fed, with everything higher…

Crude managed its 5th weekly rise in a row, but things fell apart a little into the week's close (April back below $40)…

And finally, as a reminder – You Are Here…

Charts: Bloomberg

…read more

Source: Fed Sparks "QE Trade" As Stocks, Bonds, Gold Soar

    

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Cleaners and handymen get equity at startup

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Cleaning startup Managed by Q announced on Friday that it will be giving up 5% of its company to handymen, cleaners over the next five years as part of its quest to be the best employer.

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Source: Cleaners and handymen get equity at startup

    

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‘Apple saved my life’

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for latest details.

…read more

Source: ‘Apple saved my life’

    

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